he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And then my night got REAL pukey
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm always down for nudity.
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