It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
