Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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