We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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