I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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