You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
