TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
