time to smoke my breakfast
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
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