I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
