So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
