morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
