If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drunk is not a location!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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