The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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