Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
