Just fell off a train. Bad.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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