I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
