Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Is Oprah even human
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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