she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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