do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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