I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
