He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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