we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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