Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
the liver wants what the liver wants
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
