im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize