But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
