i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We have started to decorate penises.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
