I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize