Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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