Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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