I am spending my child support on dildos
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
