He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
