There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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