you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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