...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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