Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
