did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
