She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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