Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
