i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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