What did we do last night that was yellow?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
