sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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