You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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