This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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