Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
