If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
