dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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