Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
