You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize