He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
