Non-Jews are for practice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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