So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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