Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
