On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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