don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
