drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
