Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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