Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
