am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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