felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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