Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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