I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
