I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
